II. And breathless she lay as the wind whistled loud, With a heart that beat wild in her bosom of sorrow; For she thought how her child all wrapped in his shroud, Might sleep in the waves ere the dawn of to-morrow! III. And calmly she prayed for her dear orphan boy, While the thick gathered clouds in torrents were pouring; She prayed for her child-her sole earthly joy, And started as loudly the thunders were roaring! IV. She thought of the time when at childhood's first dawn, Would comfort his mother with sorrow now wan, As she mourned for the husband who sunk in the ocean! V. She thought of the time when he sat by her side, On a bright summer's eve, when the stars were all glowing; And she taught him that Being whose power is so wide, And whose mercy on man is so constantly flowing! VI. She thought of the time, when he left her to roam, VII. Then she thought of the hour when time would be past- And see him in anguish on the left side assembling! VIII. 'Twas thus the poor widow then prayed for her child-- T. Notices and Acknowledgments. THE Synod of New-York, and New-Jersey, will hold their next meeting in Elizabeth Town, N. J. on the third Tuesday in October, being the 15th instant. "AMICUS" is received, and will have an early insertion-we hope he will continue the subject. If some of our correspondents have observed that their communicatious have not been noticed, we must beg them to unite with us in the exercise of a little patience, until we can return to our Scrutoire, which now unfortunately is in the infected district "are PRACTICAL HINTS ON THE GOVERNMENT OF FAMILIES. "FAMILIES," observes a lively writer of our own country, clusters of little commonwealths, which can hardly subsist without government, and whose well being depends greatly upon the manner in which they are governed." The justice and weight of this remark, will scarcely be questioned by any reader. But while all would admit the happy influence of a mild, but efficient family government, both in forming the moral habits of children, and promoting the peace of the domestic circle; unfortunately very few parents are observed to give the subject any thing like a thorough practical attention. Most of the treatises upon it, which have been circulated among us, are, indeed, but partially applicable to the American people;-being generally composed in a foreign country, and, almost exclusively, for the benefit of the higher classes. I am not aware that the English language contains a single elementary work, on the early management of children, adapted to the circumstances of parents in the middle and lower walks of life,--of those parents who are by Providence intrusted with the education of four fifths of our citizens. But the treatises, which have been written on the subject, and are allowed by all to contain many valuable hints, do not appear to be frequently and carefully read. We do not commonly find themin the window, or on the mantle of the sitting room. The most respectable families are quite as likely to have these places occupied with recipes for making pastry and sweetmeats; and, above all, with the last fashionable novel or poem, as with Babington, Moore, Hamilton, or Witherspoon, on Education. These, and many other works of the same character have, perhaps, long stood, honoured with calf and gilt, in the mahogany book case. But from this cloister of mute and useless wisdom, they may have been as seldom brought forth as the hereditary family Bible, which is intended to go down, with the same splendid covers, to distant posterity, Accordingly, when the government of families is sometimes mentioned in the social circle, as a serious and indispensable duty, we are very probably told, that the art of restraining the young, and VOL. IX. 41 forming them to habits of cheerful obedience, is not attainable by many persons; but is rather to be reckoned one of nature's gifts,like a genius for poetry, or an ear for music and that those parents who are conscious themselves that they do not actually possess it, may about as well relinquish all hopes of obtaining this moral ascendency over their offspring. Nor is it uncommon for parents of education to accompany the avowal of this extraordinary sentiment, with a frank and quite easy acknowledgment of their own deficiency. Happy indeed had it been for old Eli, could he have availed himself of this famous apology, when Jehovah, by his prophet, denounced disgrace and ruin upon his family; "because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not." He appears to be wanting in nothing but the authority which commands obedience; for he actually condemned and reproved their evil conduct. "He said unto them," possibly in a soft and formal manner, lest he should greatly wound their feelings, and only render them worse instead of better! Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear ye make the Lord's people to transgress. If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him; but if a man sin against the Lord, who shall entreat for him?" The truth is, that as scarcely any one duty of parents is more indispensable to the present and eternal welfare of their offspring, than the maintenance of a reasonable authority, so there is almost none, which providence has more generally qualified them to perform. Every parent has a natural ascendency over his children, which it requires a considerable share of indiscretion, and not a little bad management, to lose. He has moreover himself passed through the season of childhood, and thus become experimentally acquainted with the habits, dispositions, and exposures of the young. He may know from recollection, what species of discipline would then have commended itself to his understanding, and ensured his respectful submission. And he is in the best situation to observe every peculiarity in the tempers of his charge, with a view to correct and improve them. The same cannot be said of most other important concerns. From what is observed of the nature and means of family government, we should expect that the parent who is practically awake to his duty and privilege, would be more likely to succeed in it, than in most other serious endeavours. The writer has also been led to this conclusion, by his own experience in managing the young, and from the observations he has made on the management of others. He is entirely convinced that the art of government, is not so much the native and exclusive attribute of a few parents, as an accomplishment which every person of common firmness and discretion may possess; and which is actually possessed by nearly all those who duly appreciate its value. But that the reader may not be presented with animadversions only, I will briefly illustrate a few of the leading principles of an efficient family government. 1. The parent who would maintain a proper authority over his children, must first learn to govern himself. He must give no place in himself to those habits and practices, which he disallows, and endeavours to correct in them. Against unreasonable prejudices, and the exhibition of a querulous and passionate temper, he must carefully guard. Nor may he descend from the dignity of the parental character, and sacrifice, in their minds, his consistency, by the constant indulgence of a trifling spirit. A measure of self-denial may be demanded of him in these particulars, which it will be somewhat painful, but not impossible to exercise. We endure things far more crossing to our inclinations, for the attainment of comparatively trifling objects. But however ungrateful such self-denial may be to our natural feelings, it is indispensably requisite. The parent who is observed to give full scope to his inclinations, and, while he imposes severe restraints upon his children, to have no command of himself, will soon be regarded by them, as either inconsistent, selfish, or hypocritical. Nothing can be more preposterous than the hope expressed by some, of educating their children to industrious and moral, and even to pious habits, while they themselves continue the worthless slaves of vice. But, 2. The parent who succeeds in governing himself, must next be careful to be reasonable and humane in the exercise of his authority. It may be proper, on some occasions, to request and encourage a child to attempt the performance of what shall appear to himself beyond his strength; but there would be manifest cruelty in commanding it. Such a command, even though the child may afterwards discover his mistake in thinking it excessive, will be regarded by him, at the moment, as capricious and tyrannical. He will very probably become disheartened, and make but a partial effort, or he will generously outdo himself, with the chilling expectation of escaping censure merely. The same unhappy effects will flow from the parents enjoining, with formal and stern command, the doing of what is believed to be unnecessary and useless. Intelligent children early distinguish between the necessary requirements of a superior, and his arbitrary whims, and never fail to discover a peculiar reluctance to toil without an object worthy of their efforts. No circumstance will ordinarily more conduce to their obedience, than the impression that the service enjoined is altogether reasonable. It is indeed quite inseparable from a cheerful submission. For these and other reasons, it may be best to avoid frequently laying upon children the most formal commands; particularly with the penalty of disobedience annexed. A simple direction, or request, can be rendered equally effective; and it leaves the parent more at liberty in his treatment of delinquencies. I am the more particular on this point, because it lies near the foundation of parental authority; and yet appears to me to be much overlooked in the government of some families. The right of the parent to dictate, is of the most absolute kind, being derived immediately from God himself. It becomes the child to obey implicitly, even where he is not persuaded either of the wisdom or the justice of what is enjoined. But then children also have their rights, and are early conscious of possessing them :-rights which render it in cumbent on parents to consult their reasonable wishes, and to use every proper means of rendering their obedience both easy and agreeable to themselves. I should therefore greatly object, in general, to the imposing of any service upon children, for the mere object of establishing our authority over them. i he ascendency which is obtained by the mere enforcement of commands, is not of the most desirable character. The child submits indeed, but with feelings very like those with which a vanquished enemy grounds his arms. His spirit is broken down, but his heart is not gained, to what himself considers a reasonable and necessary authority. The danger is, that he will regard nimself as being in the circumstances of a slave, or, at least, as obliged to serve a hardhearted and capricious parent. -It is equally necessary that the parent should be reasonable in his punishments and his censures; both should be administered with evident humanity and wisdom. It is painful to observe how many guardians of youth, seldom correct their erring charge, without leaving the impression of having done it, in some way, improperly. In many cases the child is inconsiderately charged with an ingratitude and wilfulness in transgressing, of which he is not conscious. In some, he is deprived of what he considers a fair opportunity of exculpating himself; the evidence against him is hastily caught up; the circumstances are construed in the worst light possible; punishment follows immediately upon detection,-is administered without the least apparent regret, and, it may be, with heat, and unrighteous severity. All this the culprit perfectly understands, interprets in his own favour, and treasures up as a justification of future disobedience; or, if his spirit be naturally inoffensive and desponding, as a source of excessive discouragement. The apostle had reference to such treatment, when he wrote, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged." It has been known to discourage and depress the minds of children to that degree, as to render them, in subsequent life, habitually fearful and spiritless. Children should never be chastised in anger, much less with any expressions of delight in their sufferings. It would be as well to dispense with punishment altogether, as to administer it in such a manner as to make the culprit feel that he has made ample atonement for his crime. In almost every case, where the child has arrived at years of consideration, some considerable time should be allowed him for reflection and repentance; and unwearied pains taken to convince him of his deserts of punishment, and of the benevolent feelings with which it is inflicted. What has been said of punishment, is mostly applicable to reproof and censure. A continual dropping will wear a stone. It is perhaps better that some of the mistakes and petty offences of children should appear to pass unnoticed, than that they should be unceasingly followed with looks of disapprobation, and pelted with censures; especially where parents have discovered in themselves a disposition to be querulous and fretful. But, 3 It is of great moment, that the parent should be consistent and persevering in his measures. He must not enforce one set of rules |