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others upon this point, provided my health admit. The difficulties and discouragements attending the affair appear to me so formidable, that nothing could induce me for a moment to think of encountering them, but an apprehension that I might, by yielding to them, be going against the will of God. I am habitually alarmed at the thought of my having already too much hid my little talent in a napkin; and should consequently rather risk the most unpleasant imputations than increase that score of guilt. It ought to be (alas! how weak my heart!)" a small thing with me to be judged by man's judgement: there is one that judgeth, even the Lord." The business, however prudently conducted, will expose me to the censure of pride and presumption, on the part of many; and my deficiencies will disappoint, I am certain, the expectation of my partial friends. Nevertheless, supposing it possible some good may result, I am inclined to say, "I will go in the strength of the Lord my God." An impediment lies in the way, however, at present, which must be removed before I can think of it; that is, the state of my health. My old complaint has grown upon me so much of late, that it is with great difficulty I can go on with my stated work. I have been for some time under the necessity of taking fifty, and sometimes a hundred, drops of laudanum every night, in order to procure any rest. The pain has been both violent and very nearly constant. It is quite out of the question to think of a journey to London, unless I am

better. So situated, whatever arrangements are made, connected with the proposal you mention, must be conditional; and I shall, if you judge it fit to give it any farther consideration, inform you previously whether I can come or not. It seems to me there are some objections to the place of preaching being alternate will not this interfere with its being well known? The same objection seems to apply to the appointment of different places. These, however, and all other points, I wish to submit to the decision of friends. Mrs. H. will, I believe, not be able to accompany me. She desires to be most respectfully remembered to you and Mrs. G. Please to present my best respects to Mrs. G. and Miss G., and believe me to be, with great esteem, Dear Sir, yours affectionately,

I delayed writing to you as long as I could, that I might the better ascertain the state of my health at the time when it was proposed I should undertake my journey to London. I now feel myself under a necessity of informing you and my other friends, that my health is such as renders it impossible for me to think of engaging in such a matter. It is with the utmost difficulty that

I can go through my stated duties. I am ready to suspect, that the complaint under which I have so long laboured is intended to "weaken my strength by the way," and, at no great distance, to bring me to "the house appointed for all living.' The pain is almost incessant, and often so violent as to put my patience to its utmost exercise.* I have now for many weeks been under the necessity of taking seventy or eighty drops of laudanum every night, and am often obliged to rise and repeat the draught before I can procure any rest. It appears to me preposterous to think of coming to London in such a situation. I can scarce ever sit up an hour together; lying down is my constant position. I consulted some judicious friends on the subject of your proposal, and, above all, made it my business to seek direction from the Fountain of wisdom. The result was, that I came to a determination to suspend the affair upon the state of my health about the time my engagements, in the event of compliance, were to commence. Providence, by having placed me in my present circumstances, appears to have decided the affair; and in that decision I perfectly acquiesce. My mind is, to say the truth, relieved from a considerable weight; for nothing but a fear of neglecting a possible opportunity of doing some little good, could have reconciled me for a moment to the proposal you, I am persuaded with the best intentions, were pleased to make. See pp. 300, 301, of this Volume.-ED.

The appearance of vanity and self-consequence attached to it, always presented itself as a most formidable obstacle; but this I had made up my mind to surmount, reposing, in the midst of much sinister [interpretation,] on the rectitude of my intentions, and my conscious desire of complying with the leadings of Providence. You, my dear Sir, have been actuated, I doubt not, in this affair, by a solicitude to promote the interest of religion, as well as by motives of the truest friendship, as far as concerns myself; and you will not fail to [reap] the satisfaction which arises from the possession of such sentiments. For the trouble you have been at in making the necessary arrangements, you will be so good as to accept my sincere acknowledgements.

With truest affection and esteem,

I remain, dear Sir,

Yours constantly,

ROBERT HALL.

XXXV.

TO THE REV. JAMES PHILLIPS.

My dear Phillips,

Leicester, April 16, 1812.

I was extremely gratified to hear once from you again and if you knew how much pleasure it yields me to receive a letter from you, I flatter myself you would indulge me oftener. I have little to communicate that will be interesting to

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you, but could not let so affectionate an epistle
lie by long unanswered. My state of health, I
need not tell you, has long been extremely ill: it
appears to me as if my constitution was breaking
up; and I have little doubt, unless my malady
takes a favourable turn, it will, ere it be long,
reduce me to the dust. I am not better than
my fathers: I am deeply conscious I am corrected
less, yea, infinitely less, than my iniquities deserve.
I hope I am more anxious to see my heavy afflic-
tion sanctified than removed. Whether it would
be best for it to be removed, may well be doubted:
of the admirable benefits arising from sanctifica-
tion, both in time and eternity, there can be no
doubt. I presume the Lord sees I require more
hammering and hewing than almost any other stone
that was ever selected for his spiritual building,
and that is the secret reason of his dealings with
me. Let me be broken into a thousand pieces,
if I
may but be made up again, and formed by his
hand for purposes of his mercy. I see more and
more of the unspeakable blessedness of being made
like God, and of becoming partaker of his holiness.
I see it, I say, but I do not attain; or, at least,
in so unspeakably small a degree, that I have
every moment reason to be abased, and "repent
in dust and ashes."

My ministry continues, through mercy, to be considerably blessed in awakening sinners. I cannot but hope the church and congregation are in a very promising state. We are in perfect