Little can bee done by so little a person, as I am, in this matter. But three Things I may do.

I. I may confer with my Father, as a sorry Remembrancer. II. I may excite the Christians, who are meeting privately before then, to commend this matter in their earnest Supplications unto God.

III. The Lecture-day, wherein the matter is to bee transacted, I may spend, a great part of it, in secret Prayers and Cries unto the God of Heaven, for the good Success of it.

All which Things, I did accordingly. And the Lord heard my Addresses!

23 d. 1 m. I spent this Day, in the Travails of a secret FAST, before the Lord: Wherein I obtained from Him, an Assurance of my Pardon, and of His Presence with mee, in my whole Ministry, and in my approaching Ordination. And I then made these Promises unto the Lord.

I. That I will endeavour, to bee alwayes exemplary for my Chastitie.

II. That I will daily endeavour to bee deliberate and considerate in my Speeches.

III. That if the most High will vouchsafe to mee, an Opportunitie to build up His Church with an unblemished Reputation, I will endeavour to bee contented with whatsoever Estate Hee shall order for mee in the World, tho' mean, tho' poor, tho' single, and tho' many wayes Afflicted. About this Time under some Exercises, the Workings of my Heart, were after this Manner.

"Lord, whatever doth befal mee, this I am resolved on;

"I will forever acknowledge that thou art righteous altogether, yea, that thou dost punish mee far less than my Iniquities do deserve. "I will also, unto my very utmost, bee dedicating myself unto

towns, the drunkenness, swearing, excess of apparel and disregard of the church ordinances; and the interpretation placed upon any visitation, be it Indians, disease or fire, as an indication of divine displeasure. See John Westgate to Increase Mather, in 4 Collections, VIII. 578.

thee continually, that I may bee thy Servant devoted unto thy Fear, forever.

"Lord, if I might suffer, and Thy Name not bee dishonoured, I should give a Welcome, unto the bitterest Affliction, with thy Grace being sufficient for mee. But when I think, of having Thy Name reproched, the Dear Name, unto the Glory whereof I have a long While consecrated all that I have and am, and when I am apprehensive of meeting with any Prejudice or Obstruction in serving of Thyself, here my Soul, full of Agonies and Anguishes cries out, Oh! lett the Cup pass from mee!

"I am willing to bee any Thing, that God will have mee to bee. Oh! how hath Hee broken my Heart, and ground it and pun'd it into Powder, before Him! How is the inflexible Stone turn'd into pliable Flesh! Yea, If Hee will have mee rejected, reproched, confounded, my Spirit will yett ly at His Holy Feet, without indecent Frettings, at His Dispensations! And if Hee will have mee to bee, for the Time to come, reckoned as unsavoury Salt, I shall endeavour to kiss His Rod, and say, Calcate, me insipidum salem, calcate me!

"Happy are those Chastisements, which awaken my Soul, unto a lively Converse, with the Holy one of Israel. I can from the Bottom of my Heart, praise God for my afflictive Exercises, and even take Pleasure in them, on this Account.

"If it my Glory to bee conformed unto the Lord Jesus Christ, Oh! how ready should I bee, to give a cheerful Entertainment unto any Cross on the Score of its advancing this! But one Thing my Soul is exceeding earnest in; that my Crosses may not come on mee, as Punishments for my Errors and Evils. O lett the Satisfaction of the Lord Jesus Christ bee accepted for them. Any other way, lett mee bee broken to Peeces, and my Soul will yett magnify the Lord."

28 d. 1 m. Saturday. I do not purpose, to record many more of the rare Experiences, which the Devotions of my Saturday-afternoons have brought unto mee.

But this Afternoon, in prayer, a gracious God gave mee Assurance, that Hee had pardoned all my Sins, in and thro' the ever-lovely Lord Jesus Christ.

Hereupon, by way of Gratitude unto Him whom I have cause to bless, with my whole Soul, for His forgiving all my Iniquities and Healing all my Diseases, I took up these Resolutions.

1. That I would bear a special and eternal Hatred, against all the Lusts of the Flesh; and I would, with all convenient Expedition, compose a Discourse to antidote others, against some of them.

2. That I would labour after a very eminent Measure of Watchfulness over myself, in the Worship of God, with Endeavours after a spiritual Worship in my Approches to Him.

3. That I would speedily give up myself unto God and Christ, with a written Covenant, whereto I will subscribe my Engagement, that I will bee the Lords.1

5 d. 2 m. [April.] Lord's-Day. Our Congregation, happening this Afternoon to bee thinner than ordinary, my Heart began to sink under some foolish Discouragements hereupon. But I vanquished them, with such Thoughts as these.

"Consider, O my Soul; How unworthy my Sins have rendered mee, of the least Acceptance among the People of God; and that if there were nothing else besides the Meanness which attends my Ministrations, this were enough to cause in my Auditors, a Withdraw therefrom, unto the Assemblies where they may easily mend themselves.

"Consider likewise, how many Hundreds were my Auditors this Day, making a Congregation, which in Bulk exceeds all, except perhaps two or three, in the Land; and that many far more excellent persons than myself, would count themselves happy, if they might preach quietly to a Company one quarter so big.

"Consider also, tis possible the Hearers that went from mee, found their Edification to bee promoted Elsewhere; and it is not impossible, some of that Number that staid with mee, did also reap some little Benefit. And then, bee glad, that the Church of God, is built per Alios, when that Nos non sumus Digni; but in the mean Time

1 See under May 4, in this year, p. 96, infra.

"On this day "the brethren stayed in the meeting-house and unanimously consented, that the thirteenth day of May should be the day for my son Cotton's ordination as their pastor; and that letters should be sent to the two churches in Boston, to Charlestown, Cambridge, Roxbury, Dorchester, to desire them to send their messengers to give us the right hand of fellowship; that Mr. [James] Allen and Mr. [Samuel] Willard should be desired to join with myself in imposing hands." From the records of the Second Church, in Ware, Two Discourses, 49.

triumph in it, as a most undeserved Favour of the Most High, that I may bee capable, of helping forward the Salvation of so much as one immortal Soul; and since I have heretofore had the Temptation of being flock'd after, lett mee now suspect, that I need a Rod, for some Irregularities of Spirit under it: but if a Wise Redeemer will now try mee another way, lett mee now humbly act the Graces that shall bee suitable thereunto, and especially bee careful to apprehend, that an affectation of displaying ones gifts before Throngs, is too often an abominably proud Fishing for popular Applause; but my Work in the Pulpitt, must bee, rather to acquit myself well, in the Discharge of the Duties incumbent on mee there, before the All-Seeing Eye of that Majestie, who, to mee, shall bee Theatre enough.

Satis mihi pauci Auditores, satis unus, satis nullus.

2 d. 2 m. Things being represented unto mee, as if the extreme Criticalness of the Time, with regard unto our public Affayrs,1 had raised such a Diversitie of Apprehensions in the Brethren of our Church, about the Conveniencie of my Ordination at this Time, that there was like to bee some Division thereby occasioned; I humbly besought of God, That if my Life were a real Prejudice unto His Interest, or a necessary Occasion of Strife and Sin, Hee would please to take mee out of the World.

But the Design of Satan, to embarass the Concerns of my Settlement, were soon disappointed, by a most uniting Work of God upon the Spirits of the people.

20 d. 2 m. K. James II. being this Day, proclaimed in Boston, and all people hereabouts generally attending the Solemnities of the Proclamation, I withdrew from the Noises of the World, and spent the Day in Humiliations, and Supplications, before the Lord: particularly to deprecate the Confusions with which the Protestant Religion and Interest, were threatned by the Accession of that Prince unto the Throne; especially in our own unhappy Colony.2

1 The charter had been vacated and Colonel Percy Kirke named as his Majesty's Lieutenant and Governor-General over the now royal province of Massachusetts, with almost unrestricted authority.

2 Intelligence of the death of Charles II and the succession of James II reached Boston, by a ship from Newcastle, April 14. "News came to us as we were busy

Two Persons visited mee, in the morning; one of whom related unto mee his own Purpose to spend this Day, as a Fast, without knowing what I had purposed. Hereupon I invited them to join with mee, in the Devotions of the Day before mee; and they did so.

In the Pauses between our several prayers, I preached unto my two Friends, three Sermons, each of them about an Hour long apiece, on a Text, which was the very first, that on the opening of my Bible, for a Subject of Meditation, came to sight; namely, Psal. 109. 19, 20.1 which proved wonderfully suitable.

In the close, wee made unto each other a Promise, that wee would, within a few Dayes at most, sett apart some Time, to bee spent in pondering that Quæstion, What Special Service shall wee do for the Lord Jesus Christ, in Case Hee deliver His people, here, (or in England) from the Distresses now upon them! And that wee will turn the Results of our Considerations into Engagements; whereof wee will keep written Memorials by us!

22 d. 2 m. As I was walking and thinking, alone, retired into our Meeting-house this Day, my Soul was after an unusual Manner transported, in a Thought, that I did above all Things desire to glorify God, and show forth His Vertues and His Praises forever; and, that I should bee sure, never to have this Happiness deny'd unto mee; and, that therefore now Nothing should ever make mee miserable.

opening the Nominations just before Dinner; it much startled the Governour [Simon Bradstreet] and all of us." Two days later commands were received to proclaim the King. Sewall, Diary, 1. 69. See also page 70 in the same volume and Mass. Col. Rec., v. 474, for ceremonies attending the proclamation. The new King on his accession promised to "preserve this Government both in Church and State as it is now by law established," but he was at heart intent upon establishing Catholicism, and was much feared by the dissenters.

1 "Let it be unto him as a garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually. Let this be the reward of mine adversaries from the Lord, and of them that speak evil against my soul."