who and where Hee was? and I said, Lord, make mee to know my Transgression and my Sin. They brought Him then before the Rulers. And I presented my Corruptions before God. They sollicited, that Hee might bee slain, as worthy of Death. And I professed unto the Lord, that for innumerable Reasons, I thought my Iniquities worthy to dy, and I besought the Lord now to destroy those Enemies in my Heart, that would not have Him to reign over mee. And I purposed that I would hereafter bee as active in the Execution of these evil Inclinations as the Jewes were in the execution of my dearest Redeemer. II d. 4 m. The first of my Father's Children that have Dyed and the Ninth of his Children, my little Sister Katharine, dyed this Day.1 1 When shee was opened, it was found, that the right Lobe of her Lungs was utterly wasted and not any thing but about three Quarters of a Pint of Quittor, in the room thereof. Shee was not a year old; and had lain sick, for four or five months. 2 PURPOSES. I. There are brought unto my Hands, the Lives of many excellent Christians and Ministers; namely, Sam: Clarks last Volumes; where among the rest there is the Life of my Grandfather Mather. In reading hereof, I would particularly take notice of such passages as rendered other Persons excellent; and vigorously endeavour to follow them. II. There is an old Hawker, who will fill this Countrey with devout and useful Books, if I will direct him; I will therefore direct Him, and assist him, as far as I can, in doing so. 1 She was born September 14, 1682. * Samuel Clarke (1599–1683). "I have seen Mr. Clark's late book, and am ill pleased with that abuse of my father's life. But it cannot now bee helped." Nathaniel Mather to Increase Mather, August 13, 1683. 4 Collections, VIII. 50. 18 d. 4 m. PURPOSES. I. I may do something for God in my Visits. And therefore, as an Effect of my constant and earnest Cares, to carry on holy Designs, in my occasional Diversions, I now think of one Rule, which I have not formerly so much observed; That I should, for my ordinary Farewel to my christian Friends, as my parting with them, contrive to commend unto them some suitable Text of Scripture, whereof they may think, when I am gone from them. II. I would endeavour to do much more for God, in my Studies. And therefore I would, if I can attain it, bee a more early Riser, for them. 25 d. 4 m. The Lord sent mee a little Book, of Mr Corbet's; entituled, Self-Employment. In the close of which Book, I found some excellent Resolutions of his, from whence I singled out these that follow, for my more assiduous Meditation and Imitation. "In Arguing with another, watch against every inordinate Heat, loud Speaking, and every rash word. "If any Neglect, or Sleight thee, care not for it, yett observe it. "Take no Delight of Sense, but in a manifest and direct Subserviency to spiritual Ends; and use not that Delight to irritate, but to allay Sensualitie. "When thou art in Company, where the Talk is but vain, watch to putt in a Word that may bee for Edification. "If any despise thee, do not bear a Grudge against him for it, and bee not offended with any, meerly because they do not honour Thee. "When thou art framing Excuses, take heed of speaking an Untruth, or approaching too near it. Lest in avoiding the offence of Man, thou make too bold with God. Take heed of this also, when thou wouldst speak pleasingly. "Use no Recreation, or Delight of Sense, but what thou canst, at the very Time, desire of God, may bee sanctified, unto spiritual Ends. 1 John Corbet (1620-1680), an ejected minister. Self-Employment in Secret was issued in 1681, and passed through many editions. "When thou hearest, that another hath spoken any thing unto thine Injury, or Disparagement, beware of a Transport of Anger; that thou speak not harshly or unadvisedly against him; or too passionately for thyself; or, as too much concerned for thyself. "Uphold the Reputation of thy Collegue; or any that is joined with thee, in Service, as thou wouldst thine own. "Watch against all secret Pleasure, in the lessening of Another, for the advancing of Thyself. "When thou hast an Opportunitie of speaking a Word, for the Good of another's Soul, defer not the doing of it, until another Time. "Watch against all bitter, and over-passionate Speeches against malignant Opposers of the Truth. For Meekness of Spirit, and Behaviour is more according to Christ, than wrathful Zeal. "Bee not discomposed about some petty Absurdities of Behaviour, or little Indecorums, or Oversights; for so to bee, is Pusillanimitie. "When thou hast conceived a Dislike of any Person, his Wayes, or Actions, or dost ill resent his Carriage towards thee, take heed thou do not take any secret Pleasure in the Foresight of Evil coming upon him, or in hearing or observing any such Folly of his, as tends to his Reproche, or Ruine, or notable Damage. "After thy public Ministrations, in prayer and preaching, bee not thoughtful, or much concerned, how Men like thy Performance, but bee concerned for this, how acceptable it is to God, and how effectual and successful, to holy and saving Ends. "Watch every Opportunitie, to putt in a savoury Word, for the Good of a Soul, with whom thou hast Occasion of Converse. "Bee as serious and hearty; in thy Prayers to God, for the Concerns of Others, as for thine Own. "Do not value other Men, according to their Esteem of thee; but according to their true Worth. "Watch against the Expectation of hearing thy own Praise; and ‹ when such a Thought arises, instantly suppress it. "Watch against all Eagerness and immoderate Delight, in eating and drinking; and against minding any kind of Food, for the Pleasing of the Sense. "By no means, lett Pride sett thee to study, or preach or pray, or carry thee on, in any Service.' In such Things as these, O my Soul, are thy Deficiencies; In such Things now, lett bee thy Excellencies. 9 d. 5 m. [July.] About this Time, I sett myself, to promote a pious and praying Meeting, among the young People, in the south part of Boston; for the Prevention of the Mischiefs arising from vain Company, and as a Nursery to the Church there. But the Matter did not obtain so far as I desired. It was afterwards obtained; when there were such Numbers of young Men from the South End of the Town, joined unto the Meeting at the North, as that I could make of them enough to constitute, a distinct Meeting. They did so, and at their first Setting up, I preach'd unto them.1 15 d. 5 m. This Day, over-looking the Addresses of persons to join unto our Church, I found above thirty Seals of my Ministry in this Place, among these Papers. From whence I may form a probable Computation, of many scores, that have here and elsewhere been thereby helped in their Acquaintance with the Lord. Blessed be God. 26 d. 5 m. This Evening, as I was walking where I had such a prospect of our Neighbourhood, as gave mee to see that God had cast my Lot, in a place exceedingly Populous, I found my Heart, after a more than ordinary Manner melted in Desires after the Conversion and Salvation of the Souls in this Place. And my Soul, was afterwards exceedingly transported, in Prayers for such a Mercy. 2 Memorandum. Using of sacred Meditations (with mixed Supplications) at my waking Minutes, every Morning, in my Bed, and in this Course, going over many Portions of the Scriptures a Verse at a Time, the Thought of Isaac having his happy Consort brought unto him, when and where, hee was engag'd in his holy Meditations, came sometimes into my Mind, and, I had sometimes a strange Perswasion; that there would a Time come, when I should 1 Written in the margin. * The usual estimates of the population of Boston about 1684 give between four and five thousand inhabitants. have my Bed blessed with such a Consort given unto mee, as Isaac, the Servant of the Lord was favoured withal. In the Beginning of August, spending about a Fortnight, with my Father at Lyn, where wee both of us preached on two successive Sabbaths, I enjoy'd many happy Hours, in the countrey-Retirements of the Fields; and in some of those Retirements, I received strong and strange Assurances, That the God of Heaven intended, not only to bless me, but also to make mee a Blessing. 27 d. 6 m. [August.] Considering my own many Sins and Wants and the many Sorrowes of the Church, I sett apart this, for, a Day of Prayer, with Fasting, in my study, before the Lord. I judged myself before God, for my horrible Transgressions of all Sorts; and on the Distresses of my Soul, beholding my Miseries, by my unavoidable Exposedness unto the Wrath of God; and my insuperable Estrangedness from the Foundation of all Good; but beleeving that the Mediator was yett willing to have Mercy on mee, after all the Indignities which I had putt upon Him, if I now look'd unto Him, I earnestly besought Him, that Hee would graciously take the Care of all that concerned my Salvation; and rescue mee from all the Confusions which I had brought upon myself by my leaving of God; and bee my Prophet, Priest, and King forever. And I professed unto Him, that I left my immortal Spirit, in His blessed Hands, and that I would expect every Part of my Welfare, as the Fruit of His blessed Satisfaction and Intercession; and that I would submitt unto His glorious Dominion, Power and Wisdome, so as never wittingly and willingly to withdraw from the Regulations thereof; but I would fly unto His precious Blood, for Pardon, whenever I perceived any Deviation in myself. And I concluded with a triumphant Hope, that Hee would now delight in mee, to do mee Good; and that God would have no Controversie with mee; and that I |