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This DAY, was devoted uus Secret Humilianons and Supplications, before the God of Heaven. Having teix say, obtacude and Recoived, a Boyful Afeurance, that hout of my former Junqu -His would bar Remombred against mee of Fot myself to Rog yr smiles of god upon mee, in ye Ordering of my single or married Estatz, unty His "Glory.

of Acknowledged wwwww the Lord, my own unworth;-nose of any good thing, especially of that good thing, with is found by thoui that c'étain favour of ye Lord: of profisted, that I would frudy to do nothing hereabout, that should bed Displeafreq часно начал : f Declared, That & descred Nothing in this world, with might prejudice my glori-fyong of souchelf: of said, That of Hed Saw any thing would Hinder mod from Honouring of stim, of should bee glad, of HEE would Honder mee from Having of that, whatever my mif-guided Appartes, might plead uso ye contrary. Said, That if HEE would have med to Embrack callibacy, I would Evermiorz take a Construt "ment i'll it, as that well would Capacitate mod to farve my parents, and His people, to whom Jowe my All. Nevertheless, to This If Subjois -ued, That Since my fuclivianous and Juvi-sahons did now seem to Recommend a married Estate wuss mod, I begged of Heen, That Had would lead moo in ye way wherein I should go. "and of Vow'd unto Hem. That if He would preveur als obfiructions, of my desireable Seulement in a married Balation, www our uuw who feast ber a Blessing to med, in that Work which my Hand finds to do, I will TWICE at Lash, Every year foin with her, in keeping a say of Thanksgiving private yearhuntsgiving,

Diary of Cotton Mather

16811

12 d. 1 m. [March.] This Day was filled with the Devotions and Enjoyments of a raised Soul.

But there were especially two things, whereabouts the Salleyes of my Soul, were considerable, not only on this Day but at many other Times, in this part of my Life.

One Thing, wherein I was more fervently concerned, was, that great Thing of, a Closure with the Lord Jesus Christ. In the Prosecution of this Matter I may truly say, t'was the Spirit of God, that was my Teacher: no Man, or Book, showed mee the way of expressing this glorious Transaction; but this Day, I used such Words as these among others, before the Redeemer of my Soul.

"Oh! my Dear Lord; Thy Father hath committed my Soul, into thy Hands; there's a Covenant of Redemption, wherein I am concerned: I know my Election, by my Vocation, and my Concernment in that Covenant, by my being made Willing to come under the Shadow of thy Wings in the Covenant of Grace; Now, in that Covenant, the Father said unto the Son, such an elect Soul there is, that I will bring into thy Fold, and thou shalt undertake for that Soul, as a Sufficient and an Eternal Saviour. Wherefore, I am now, in thy Hands, O my Lord; Thy Father hath putt mee there; and I have putt myself there; O save mee! O heal mee!

The record begins thus abruptly. It was his custom to begin a new year's record on February 12, his birthday. The earlier pages covering the month's entries have been lost. As he was born in February, 1662–63, he had completed his eighteenth year.

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O work for mee, work in mee, the good Pleasure of thy Goodness."

And afterwards I said,

"Lord, I have been leaving my Soul, this Day, with Jesus Christ, and Thou hast bid mee to beleeve that I shall be saved by Him. Lord! I do beleeve, that there never came a poor Soul to the Lord Jesus Christ in vain, and I do beleeve that I myself shall not find it in vain. Hee will do great things for mee. Hee has already done enough, to leave mee without any Cause of rep[en]ting that I have, thro' so much Agony of [Soul] come unto Him; yea, but I beleeve that [Hee] has more still to do for mee. Having been the Author Hee will bee the Finisher, of my Faith."

Another thing that much exercised mee was, that I might not bee left without necessary Supplies of Speech for my Ministry. God was pleased so far to lett my Infirmity remain, that altho' by a careful Deliberation2 my public Services were freed from any Blemish by it, yett I was, by His Wisdome, kept in continual Prayer, and Fear, and Faith, concerning it. How many Thousands of sollicitous Thoughts I underwent concerning it, is best known to Him, who by those Thoughts drove mee and kept mee nearer to Himself.

On this Day particularly I pleaded;

"Lord! Thou art Hee that made man's Mouth; and thou wast angry with Moses, because hee would not make that consideration, an Argument for Faith, that thou wouldest

1 He was at this time assisting his father at the North Church. He first preached for his grandfather at Dorchester, August 22, 1680, and for his father at Boston on the following Sabbath. He was called to be assistant to his father February 23, 1680-81.

"His son, Samuel, states that while Mather was in full concern for relief from this troublesome affliction, "that good old Schoolmaster Mr. Corlet gave him a Visit on purpose to advise Him; Sir, said he, I should be glad if you would oblige yourself to a dilated Deliberation in speaking; for as in singing there is no one who stammers, so by prolonging your Pronunciation you will get an Habit of speaking without Hesitation." Life of Cotton Mather, 26.

bee with his Mouth. And now, because I would not so sin, therefore I trust in thee! Thou dost send mee forth, as thou didst Moses, in Service for thy Name among thy people; and thou who didst make Mans Mouth and make my Mouth, wilt bee with my Mouth. It was also once used, as a Bottom for Faith, the Lord hath, and therefore, the Lord will. Now tis a blessed Experience which I have already had of thy Help; yea, such an Experience as hath caused mee to promise, that I would never distrust thee more. Lord, Thou saist, None of them who trust in thee shall bee desolate. But how desolate shall I bee, if I am left without Speech for thy Work! I trust in thee; and therefore it shall not bee. Thou saist, Thou wilt never forsake them that seek thee. But I have sought thee, and I will seek thee, as long as I have a Day to live. And now, O Lord, I will beleevingly wait on thee; I shall see a Token for good; Thy People too shall see Witnesse of the Token."1

Butt one special Action of this Day, was to make and write the following:

RESOLUTIONS AS TO MY WALK WITH GOD.

Lord! Thou that workest in mee to will, help mee to resolve.

I. As to my Thoughts.

1. To endeavour, that I will keep God, and Christ, and Heaven, much in my Thoughts.

2. In a special manner, to watch and pray, against

1 Mather suffered in youth from an impediment of speech which threatened to destroy his usefulness in the public ministry, and fearing this, he first studied medicine, for which he retained a strong interest throughout his life. His treatise on medicine, the Angel of Bethesda, on which he placed a high value, is a curious mixture of medicine and his peculiar faith dogmas. It has never been printed, but deserves to be for the sidelight it throws upon the medical practice of the day. From a folio volume (still in manuscript) of records of cases treated by Governor John Winthrop, the younger, and this treatise by Mather, the medical knowledge of a century and a half could be summarized. The Winthrop мs. is in the Massachusetts Historical Society; the Angel of Bethesda is in the American Antiquarian Society.

lascivious Thoughts, ambitious Thoughts, and wandring Thoughts in the Times of Devotion.

II. As to my Words.

1. To bee not of many Words, and when I do speak, to do it with Deliberation.

2. To remember my obligations to use my Tongue as the Lord's, and not my own: and therefore, to promote savoury Discourse, if I can, wherever I come; and to discourse with such as come fairly in my way, about the Things of their everlasting Peace.

3. Never to answer any weighty Question, without lifting up my Heart unto God, in a Request, that Hee would help mee to give a right Answer.

4. To speak Ill of no Man; except, on a good Ground, and for a good End.

5. Seldome to make a Visit, without contriving, what I may do for God, in that Visit.

III. As to my daily Course of Duties.

1. To pray at least thrice, for the most part every Day. 2. To meditate once a Day; in the Meditation proceeding after some such Method as this; that there shall bee two Parts of the work, doctrinal, and applicatory. The doctrinal to bee dispatched in an Answer to a Quæstion. The Applicatory to flow from thence into Examination, Expostulation, Resolution.

3. To make a Custome of propounding to myself, these three Quæstions, every Night before I sleep.

What hath been the Mercy of God unto mee, in the Day past?

What hath been my carriage before God, in the Day past. And,

If I dy this Night is my immortal Spirit safe?

4. To lead a Life of heavenly Ejaculations.1

1 Mather early adopted the practice of ejaculations, which Fuller describes as a short prayer “darted up to God" in an emergency. In this sense the word was much used at the time this record was written.