able a Soul as I am! No Reason can bee given, but, Father, it hath so pleased Thee!

2. And, yett, very great are the Things which the great God has done for mee. Hee has not only offered such an Alsufficient Saviour, as the Lord Jesus Christ, unto such an every way forlorn Creature as I am, upon such happy Terms, as those in the Gospel, and continued so to do, after I had rejected Him, and exposed myself thereby to His hottest Indignation: But Hee has also made mee to feel my Wants of the Lord Jesus Christ, and so to prize Him, that I have been willing, yea, earnest and restless to obtain an Interest in Him. And yett further, I have also found the Lord Jesus Christ, a mighty and a faithful Saviour, altogether as good as His Word. Hee has been with a strong Hand saving of mee, and kept mee from dark Pitts of Sin and of Death, which I have been ready to stumble into, and favoured mee with two Things, which (however vile I am) I cannot but acknowledge.

One is, A tender Heart; not able to live quietly under the smaller Neglects of God, which the Generality of Christians give way unto.

The other is, an active Mind; uneasy except when I am doing something to promote the Kingdome and advance the Glory of God, in my Generation.

II. On my Employment in the Ministry of the Gospel, I observed;

1. The Freedom of Speech, bestowed on mee by a Miracle, is by a Miracle continued unto mee. Hereby I have not only an Advantage to do good, but the Glory of the Divine Power and Bounty is after a most affecting Manner displayed before many Hundreds of the Children of Men. And this I enjoy, tho' by Sin daily provoking of Heaven to take it away.

2. My Life and Health are spared, albeit I have been wicked enough to dy before my Time.

3. I am employ'd in a populous Place, the Metropolis of the whole English America, and may cast the Net among much Fish.

4. And I am herein a Colleague to a Father; yea, to a Father, given mee from the Dead, and one of my greatest Blessings.

5. I am esteemed and honoured among the people of God, who pray for mee.

6. I have seen some Success of my Labours; many that have joined unto our Churches, have acknowledged it. III. On my external Conditions, I observed,

1. My Comforts in my Father's Family.

2. My convenient Study, with a well furnished Library.1 3. My considerable Salary.

4. My prospering in my Care of my Pupils.

5. A Constellation of many smiling Providences.

To these Things, I added, the Smiles of God upon Others, wherein I am concerned.

These Things, I did on my knees, in several Prayers, acknowledge before the Lord; at last concluding:

"Oh! my Lord; tho' I have sinned against Mercy, and been unworthy of Mercy, yett I have been a Child of Mercy, my Life has been filled with Mercy, and thou hast followed mee with Goodness and Mercy all my Daies. Praise waiteth for Thee. I thank God, thro' Jesus Christ, my Lord."

So I came to consider on that Quæstion.

What shall I render to the Lord, for all His Benefits? Here, besides my Renewal of the Resolutions penned in the beginning of this Year, I did resolve upon two Things,

I. To have my sett Times for Meditations on that Enquiry, what is there that I may do for the Interests of God!

1 The reference is more probably to his father's library. Cotton Mather early began to accumulate a library, which in time came to be one of the largest in the Province. The history of the Mather libraries is told by Julius H. Tuttle in the Am. Antiq. Soc. Proc., xx. new series, 269-356.

II. To act as much as may bee, for God, in every Action.

And therefore,

Before I study, or preach, or hear, a Sermon;

Before I make a Visit;

Before I eat a Meal;

Before I sett upon any Recreation;

Before I fall asleep at Night;

I would still have distinct Thoughts, lett mee now do this (or, I will do this) for God.

The Lord having taught mee thus to fall into the Way of declared and explicit Acting for Him, tis incredible what a new Life of Soul, I did thereby Experience. My Soul was from this Time raised into an high, a sweet, an heavenly Way of Living; I something felt the Meaning of dwelling in God, tho' no Books or Men on Earth had ever instructed mee how to do it. The Thoughts of being for God, continually, and of expressly interesting the great God, in all my Motions, exceedingly ravished mee.

Thus the Holy Spirit of God, most mercifully discovered somewhat of the Possession, which Hee had long since taken of mee. Thus did the Faithfulness of the Lord Jesus Christ, appear, in carrying on the Sanctification, for the producing whereof I had relyed upon Him. And thus, while I was yett a Child, I fell into some singular Methods, of doing those things, which might render mee in Time, a Man of God.

1

9 d. 8 m. Lord's-Day. This Day, the Lord made mee somewhat an Instrument of His Praises, to encourage my Endeavour at His Praises yesterday. I went unto the Pulpit of my old Grandfather Cotton, in the Old Church of Boston; 1 and there, being thereto called, I preached, with a very singular Assistance of the Lord. Yea, Such was His powerful Presence with mee, that some afterwards declared their

1

1 John Cotton was installed as Teacher in the First Church in October, 1633, Rev. John Wilson being the Pastor. He served the church until his death in

melted and broken Hearts, could hardly forbear crying out aloud, in the Assembly.

16 d. 8 m. Lord's-Day. As I was going to serve the Lord Jesus Christ in the public Assembly, I did on my Knees in my study utter such Words as these.

Lord, If I might hold forth much of Thee, If I might glorify Thee, and bee a Vessel by Means whereof a great Revenue of Praise may redound unto thy great Name, I should count it, yea, I have chose it, as my greatest Happiness; and this Happiness, I know, I shall, I shall, I shall enjoy it forever!

29 d. 8 m. In the Fear, and by the Help, of God, lamenting my most lamentable Temptations, both unto Slothfulness, and unto some Degrees of Wantonness, I sett apart this Day, for the Duties of a secret Fast before the Lord.

One of my Exercises this Day, was to pen down the following Arguments, which encourage mee to beleeve that tho' my Sins are many and mighty, yett they are all forgiven.

I. There are in the Scriptures, blessed Encouragements, unto the vilest of Sinners, to hope and wait, and seek for pardoning Mercy. Particularly,

Psal. 130. 4.

Isa. 55. 7.

Exod. 34. 6, 7.

Mic. 7. 18

Isa. 1. 18

Neh. 9. 17.

II. The Lord Jesus Christ is Alsufficient Saviour, in and thro' whom, the worst of Sinners may receive Atonement. Consider

Now, I. I go to the Lord Jesus Christ, for a Pardon.

I now do it, and I have heretofore done it.

fied by Faith, I shall have Peace with God.

So, being justiRom. 5. 1.

2. I attend those Things, which are the Symptomes of a

True Faith, and have the Promise of a Pardon thereunto annexed.

First; Hee that confesseth and forsaketh shall find Mercy. Prov. 28. 13. Now I confess my Sins; I do it on my knees. And in my Affection, I forsake them all. Why else, do I sett apart such Dayes as these to combate, and to distress, my Lusts, and obtain the Destruction of the most beloved among them?

Again; Hee that judgeth himself shall not bee judged of the Lord. 1. Cor. 11. 31. I judge myself as the worst of Sinners; Hence the Great God, will in and thro' His own Son, my Surety, judge mee righteous. I judge myself worthy of Death, Death, Death forever. Hence, the great God, on the Account of Him that has made Himself a Sacrifice for mee, will judge mee to Life eternal.

Thus did I try to argue myself into the Faith, and Hope of my Justification. But I must say, that I found no Spirit in all this rational way of Arguing: None of the Argument brought unto my Soul, that joyful Peace which I wanted. At last, the Spirit of God powerfully came in upon my Heart, and enabled mee to receive the Pardon of my Sin, offered freely unto mee, with the Righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ; and this without any distinct Considerations, on my having these and those Conditions, wrought in mee. Then could I, and never till then, rejoice with Joy unspeakable and full of Glory. Afterwards, t'was comfortable for mee, to see in my self, the Conditions of a pardoned Soul.

30 d. 8 m. Lord's-Day. Taught of God, I fell upon a particular Way to exercise Grace, and proceed regularly and methodically at the Table of the Lord.

The Instance this Day was this.

'Workings of Heart.

"" 'At the Administration of the Bread.

"Do I need the Lord Jesus Christ?