DIALOGUE IX.

FASTOSUS, INFIDELIS, IMPIATOR, DISCORDANS, AND AVARO.

Ir was my business to mind the appointment, and give due attendance; which I resolved to do, whatever should be the consequence accordingly I was there, ere the arrival of the infernal gentry, whom I waited for with impatience. At last they all came up the valley to the place of conference; where five sable thrones were ready to receive them. As soon as seated, the following converse began:

INFID. Indeed, is it possible, that my lovely Impiator hath so far prevailed, as to make a reverend vicar drink till he is fuddled? Such a conquest as this makes greatly for our interest; for when the parishioners know that the parson himself was drunk in the week, they will pay little regard to his sermon the ensuing sabbath. Let him preach repentance and reformation with all the zeal he may assume, every hearer will say in his heart, "Physician heal thyself." I always knew that you, Avaro, had large dealings with many of the clergy, but not till now that my son Impiator had obtained such great power over them. What! and swear too! To see a parson get drunk, or to hear him profanely swear, would give joy to the devil himself, amidst all his disappointments. I assure you, in the days of the Puritans, I would have crept forty miles on my hands and knees to have heard the one, or seen the other. But thou, my son-----

IMP. Indeed, sire, you may depend on what I say. Great and formidable are my enterprises. These eyes of mine have seen the foot ball thrown down at the church door, on Sunday after service, in the presence of the parson; who, like the father of his people, gathered up his gown and stood patiently to see which of his flock could with greatest dexterity make it skim the sky. This, you will say, was a pretty sort of transit made by the holy man, from worshipping the God of heaven, to serve the famous devil Impiator. Ah! gentlemen, were I but an eloquent spirit, I could tell you such wonders about the profaneness of both priest and people, as would rejoice your hearts, and make you confess, that few devils have more ascendancy over mankind than myself. O, the young students who are training up for the ministry are charming lads. It is but a few years since, a nymph, who had been under the tuition of some of those young clergymen, came to an overseer of the poor of the parish, near a certain university, and desired to speak with him. "What is your will?" said he. "I am with child," said she. "I see that,"

returned he," but who is its father?"--" Three gentlmen of -Hall," said she. "What do you talk of three for?" said he ; " only one of them can be its father."- ---" Indeed, sir. they are all three fathers of my child, andare all willining to give security to the parish: and three very civil gentlemen they are, I assure you.""I think," said the overseer, they have not behaved very civilly to you, seeing you are with child by them."--"O sir," said she, "they behaved very civilly to me, they got me to their room and kept me there for above a fortnight, and all the while I ate with them, and slept with them at free cost.

AVAR Well, but brother can you assert that as fact upon your own knowledge?

IMP. Yes, Avaro, I can; and more than that, the overseer is yet alive, and can at any time attest the truth of it.

INFID. Well, I think they are hopeful gentlemen of which to make ministers of the gospel; gentlemen who may be of great service to our government.

IMP. It is on that account I mention the affair. And I could tell you a hundred such pretty little stories.

FAST. Supposing my reverend brother Infidelis, for the information of these younger devils, were to relate part of his history, might it not be well?

INFID. I am ready to do any thing, that tends to the prosperity of our common cause; with a view to this, I have already given Impiator some account of my birth and first enterprises, and now for common instruction shall proceed. Having ascended the throne of Infidelity, the first thing I attempted was, to lull men into a persuasion that I did not at all exist, and that there is no such devil as unbelief in being. When I could not so universally prevail in this as I wished, I endeavoured to persuade each of them separately, that however Infidelis might reign over others, for their part, he had no dominion over them. For, said I, you have a good heart, and have believed well all your days. Although, as I said before, I have conducted many of those, who fancied they had believed so well in their lifetime, very safely down to the chambers of horrible despair, where they were soon convinced, they had never believed at all aright.

Then I endeavoured to persuade the people, that the threatenings of God's law against sin, ought to be considered as a fancy; and to strengthen this doctrine, I thus preached (for you must know, I have been a great preacher in my time): "Look you, you timorous minded mortals; you may clearly see, that God hath created you, with all the passions and appetites that: attend you, and can you believe that he did this with a design to prohibit the gratification of them? No, surely! Could it be consistent with the character of that God, whose goodness is unto all, and whose tender mercies are over all his works, to endue

you with these passions and appetites, and then damn you for gratifying them? No, no, those threatenings are exhibited only to keep your consciences in awe; but never designed to be ri gorously executed.---The law will make large allowances for the inclinations, passions, and infirmities of the human nature; never fear it. The soul that sinneth, need not to fear dying as the Scripture has threatened; and man shall not be cursed, though he continue not in all things, written in the law to do them."

Here, gentlemen, you may see my fallacy, in dealing with mortals, for although all the faculties and passions of the soc were indeed essential to its creation state, none of them were then irregular; none acted from improper influence, for every passion centered in its lawful and proper object. Besides, all sinful motions and desires of the heart, are the effects of my dominion over man,

Then I proceeded to persuade them that God had forsaken the earth, and took now no notice of the deeds of men, so that every man might, with the greatest safety, gratify his peculiar inclination. By these means it was, the great Impiator was brought into existence, whose dominion has increased every year with great rapidity.

I persuaded men, that this world is the most certain good. A bird in the hand, said I, is worth two in the bush. Make sure of this world, and never fear for the other. Do you consider this as your abiding place, and build your nest in its highest branches if possible. In this I succeeded so well, that every man by nature, and almost all by practice, look upon the present world as the chiefest good. Then it was, that Avaro was born in our family, and Ambitiosus was born in the family of Fas

tosus.

All this, you must observe, I did in disguise, or rather in a state of invisibility; I dare not tell a man, when I wait upon him, that my name is Infidelis ; for, although they are fond of my nature, even to distraction, there is not one of them, but what hates to be told that he is concerned with me. Indeed, you cannot affront any of my subjects worse, than by naming him after me, and calling him Infidel.

IMP. That is the very case with my subjects, for although they love my service with all their hearts, they hate to be told of it. If a man should at any time reprove one of them for his enormities, you would soon hear him damn the reprover for a methodist, or puritan, or a sanctified hypocrite.

INFID. It is no manner of difficulty for me to lurk unperceived by them, in the corners of their dwellings; but I cannot possibly hide myself from Moses the vicegerent of the highest. He is a person of a most piercing eye, and can trace all the motions of spirit, therefore it comes to pass, that he and I have frequen*

bickerings. Moses being the perfection of light, and I the most consummate darkness, there is an eternal war proclaimed betwixt us, and we never meet but we are at daggers drawing.

Sometimes he comes knocking with a tremendous hammer, at the doors and windows of my lodging, as if he would lay the house in an heap of ruin, whilst the people within start and tremble at every thunder-clap of his hammer. Amidst their consternation, you may hear him from without, call to them within, with a voice louder than many thunders, in the name of his august Master, to bring forth the devil Infidelis, and all his train to public execution. But I am always well befriended by the people of the house, who, for the most part, tell him that neither Infidelis, nor any of his train, live with them, and that his excellency must needs have mistaken the door. They tell him, he would do better to enquire at the house of Tom drunkard, or Jack the swearer, where very probably, say they, that evil spirit may dwell.

This is often the beginning of a rupture, betwixt him and them, for he is not to be so easily deceived; he shooteth his burning arrows with deathly vengeance in at the windows, against the people of the house, whom I exhort by all possible means, to resist to the last extremity. Never did you see the warlike Corsicans exert themselves with such ardour in defence of their liberties, as my subjects in defence of my government.

Sometimes they so besmear his heavenly face with the filth they throw upon him, calling him severe tyrant, covetous extortioner, unjust villain, and the like, that he gives over the assault, and leaves them to my quiet possession; then I take my seal, and seal them to destruction; for you must know it is but in some places he exerts his unfrustrable influence.

It is likewise observable, that although my subjects will give Moses a good character while he keeps at a distance from them, every one will fight to the knees in blood, when assaulted by him, ere they submit; so fond are they of my person and government. Sometimes it hath happened, that by irresistible force he hath broke open the doors, seized the people of the house by the collar, dragged them to the brink of a pit called Despondency, into which he tumbled them headlong, and left them shut up in that dreary dungeon.

As soon as he is departed, I go to work, and turn some neighbouring brook into the pit with a design to drown them, or throw down earth, stones, &c. on purpose to smother them; and so I continue to pester and disturb them, till I am frightened away by the sound of Immanuel's trumpet, as he himself approaches for their deliverance; for you must know, I cannot stand my ground, but take to my heels when he appears. Many a time do I hear myself cursed for an hellish brat, even by those who but very lately would have risked life and fortune, and with

the greatest bravery fought in the cause of prince Infidelis: but as soon as they obtain a glimpse of Immanuel's glory, they have done with my yoke, and I lose their affection for ever.

However, as I cannot endure that rational scripture light should shine into the hearts of men, I have often been puzzled, to find out proper methods to resist the power of Moses, for he is excessively turbulent sometimes, and frighteneth my subjects into a pretended service of his Lord. In order to appease him, the sons of men agreed to build a temple, and dedicate it to the Most High; rather choosing to worship him, than be destroyed by the artillery of Sinai. Accordingly to work they went, and built a sumptuous dome for divine worship, in order to stop the mouth of that never-ceasing accuser. Now, thought I, things are likely to take an aukward turn with me; if this worship is not interrupted, I shall lose many of my present slaves. So I put my plodding brain to the torture, in order to find out proper methods of prevention, and I can tell you, gentlemen, I went wisely to work; you remember that, Avaro, for you were my helper.

The case was this. We prepared the image of a woman, fair and beautiful to the eye; she was inwardly made of clay, and outwardly adorned with the appearance of burnished gold; in her right hand was a regal sceptre, titles of state, and plumes of honour, &c. In her left she carried a heavy purse of money, and a casket of oriental jewels: upon her head was an imperial crown studded with sparkling gems, which dazzled the eye of beholders, whilst they read the following motto, which was written in all languages on her forehead, "I am the mistress of the whole world." We secretly conveyed this image into one corner of the temple, and placed it in such a manner, as to be seen of all who entered.

I soon perceived that the bait was suitably drest, and our idol had charms enough to attract the attention of the people. Ha--ha---ha, you would have laughed till your sides were tired, had you been there, to see how the slaves looked asquint upon the idol, as they approached the altar of God. Aye, and in the midst of their devotion, how they cast the tail of their eye towards the place where she stood. After their worship was over, O how they bowed and cringed before her ladyship; the very parson himself did her humble reverence, and many times embraced her in the most affectionate manner. Then said I, "A fig for Moses and all his threatening, I have the slaves as fast as ever."

IMP. Indeed, sire, you played the devil with them then. But what said Moses, did he calmly yield the debate?

INFID. No, no, he is none of your easy tempered people, I assure you his eagle-eye soon discovered the cheat, and as soon did he resolve on vengeance, as appeared by the event. Laden with burning faggots he came to the temple, and roaring iixe